Suddenly, the mustachioed shortstop with the Pabst Blue Ribbon in his koozie reveals he played Division III college soccer. The left fielder, who minutes ago was discussing the subtle notes of a natural orange wine, dives headfirst into second base. Hipster kickball is the only sport where players spend the week leading up to the game studying Moneyball analytics while claiming they "don't really keep score."
Every team claims they are "just here for the beer." The team name is usually a pun (e.g., "The Kick Petersons," "Balls Deep," "My Drinking Team Has a Kickball Problem"). Yet, try to bunt on these players.
The game itself is merely a two-hour appetizer for the main course: the bar take-over. The deal between the kickball league and the local "dive bar disguised as a cocktail lounge" is sacred. Typically, the league secures a sponsorship where players get $1 off any IPA with a name that sounds like a lumberjack’s last will and testament ("Axe Handle Haze," "Flannel Fog"). hipster kickball
It is for the person who wants to sweat, but not too much. It is for the person who wants to compete, but not to cry. It is for the person who wants to look cool, by dressing as uncool as possible.
In the sprawling ecosystem of adult recreational sports, a peculiar phenomenon has emerged from the playgrounds of our youth and landed squarely in the craft-beer gardens of gentrified neighborhoods. It’s not CrossFit. It’s not pickleball (though that has its own niche). It’s hipster kickball . Suddenly, the mustachioed shortstop with the Pabst Blue
But what exactly is "hipster kickball"? Is it a sport? A fashion show? A thinly veiled excuse for day-drinking? The answer, much like a proper sour ale, is a complex blend of all three. To understand the movement, you have to look at the uniform—or rather, the deliberate rejection of a uniform. The Dress Code: Irony in Motion In traditional softball or soccer, function dictates form. In hipster kickball, form dictates commentary .
So, next Tuesday, grab a dirty glass of a hazy IPA, pull up your tube socks, and head to the diamond. Just remember: don't run out of the baseline, and for the love of all that is holy, don't bring a metal bat. Yet, try to bunt on these players
That would just be trying too hard. Are you ready to join the movement? Search for "adult kickball leagues near me" and look for the one that lists "post-game bar" before "referees." That’s your tribe.