After A Month Of Showering My Mother With Love Fix 🚀
That is the first thing you learn after a month of showering your mother with love: If you have been distant for a decade, three days of warmth doesn't fix anything. It confuses them. But you keep going. Week Two: The Backlash and the Tears By day ten, my mother did something unexpected. She got angry.
But after a month of showering my mother with love, I realized that waiting for the other person to change first is a recipe for a lifetime of silence. The first seven days were excruciating. Showering my mother with love felt like wearing a wool sweater in July. It was itchy, forced, and unnatural.
On Wednesday, I visited her house. She had cooked a casserole that was too salty. The old me would have made a joke about her salt shaker having a hole in it. The new me ate the entire portion and said, "This reminds me of when I was a kid." after a month of showering my mother with love fix
She looked suspicious. She asked if I was sick.
"Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?" she demanded. "Did you crash my car? Are you dying? Did you lose your job?" That is the first thing you learn after
But I remembered the experiment. I took a breath. I said, "I hear that you're upset. I'm sorry I've been distant. I'm trying to do better."
The answer, as I learned after a month of showering my mother with love, is both yes and no. But the "fix" that occurred was not the one I was looking for. It was far more radical. Before we discuss the fix, we have to diagnose the wound. Most adult children operate under a silent contract with their parents. The contract says: You gave me childhood trauma; I will give you distance. Or: You didn’t understand me then; I won’t explain myself now. Week Two: The Backlash and the Tears By
The fix is not self-annihilation. The fix is loving your mother without losing yourself . If you want to try this experiment yourself, here is the protocol that worked for me: